1 Joab son of Zeruiah perceived that the king's heart was set on Absalom.
2 So Joab sent to Tekoa and brought a wise woman from there. He told her, "Pretend to be in mourning. Put on mourning clothes and do not anoint yourself with oil; act like a woman who has been mourning a long time for someone dead.
3 Then go in to the king and speak to him like this." And Joab put the words in her mouth.
4 The woman from Tekoa spoke to the king; she fell face down on the ground, paid homage, and said, "Help, O king!"
5 The king asked her, "What is the matter?" She said, "I am a widow, sad to say; my husband is dead.
6 Your servant had two sons. The two of them got into a fight out in the field with no one to pull them apart, and one struck the other and killed him.
7 Now the whole clan has risen against your servant, saying, 'Hand over the one who struck down his brother, so we can put him to death for the life of the brother he killed, and do away with the heir as well.' So they would put out the one ember I have left, leaving my husband neither name nor survivor on the face of the earth."
8 The king told the woman, "Go home; I will give orders on your behalf."
9 The woman from Tekoa said to the king, "My lord the king, let the guilt be on me and on my father's house, and let the king and his throne be free of guilt."
10 The king said, "If anyone says anything to you, bring him to me, and he will not trouble you again."
11 She said, "Then let the king remember the LORD your God, so that the avenger of blood will not add to the destruction, and they will not destroy my son." He said, "As the LORD lives, not one hair of your son will fall to the ground."
12 The woman said, "Let your servant say one more word to my lord the king." He said, "Speak."
13 The woman said, "Why then have you planned such a thing against the people of God? In saying this, the king convicts himself, since the king has not brought his banished one back.
14 We all must die; we are like water poured out on the ground that cannot be gathered up again. Yet God does not take away life, but devises plans so that the banished one is not kept away from him.
15 Now, I have come to say this to my lord the king because the people made me afraid. Your servant thought, 'I will speak to the king; perhaps the king will act on his servant's request.
16 The king will surely listen and rescue his servant from the hand of the man who wants to cut off both me and my son from God's inheritance.'
17 Your servant thought, 'Let the word of my lord the king give me rest,' for my lord the king is like the angel of God in telling good from evil. The LORD your God be with you!"
18 The king answered the woman, "Do not hide from me anything I ask you." The woman said, "Let my lord the king speak."
19 The king said, "Is Joab's hand with you in all of this?" The woman answered, "As surely as you live, my lord the king, no one can turn right or left from anything my lord the king says. Yes, it was your servant Joab who gave me orders; he put all these words in your servant's mouth.
20 Your servant Joab did this to put a different face on the matter. But my lord has wisdom like the wisdom of the angel of God, to know everything that goes on in the land."
21 The king said to Joab, "Very well, I am doing this. Go, bring back the young man Absalom."
22 Joab fell face down on the ground, paid homage, and blessed the king. Joab said, "Today your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight, my lord the king, since the king has done what his servant asked."
23 Joab set off, went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem.
24 The king said, "He must go off to his own house and not see my face." So Absalom went off to his house and did not see the king's face.
25 In all Israel there was no man as handsome as Absalom, none so highly praised; from the sole of his foot to the top of his head there was not a flaw in him.
26 When he cut his hair (he cut it at the end of every year, since it grew heavy on him, and so he cut it), he would weigh the hair of his head: two hundred shekels by the king's weight.
27 Absalom had three sons and one daughter named Tamar, a woman of lovely appearance.
28 Absalom lived in Jerusalem for two full years without seeing the king's face.
29 Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but he would not come to him. He sent once more, a second time, but he would not come.
30 So he told his servants, "Look, Joab's field is beside mine, and he has barley in it. Go and set it on fire." And Absalom's servants set the field on fire.
31 Joab went straight to Absalom's house and asked him, "Why did your servants set my field on fire?"
32 Absalom answered Joab, "I sent word to you: 'Come here, so I can send you to the king to ask, "Why did I come back from Geshur? I would be better off still there."' Now let me see the king's face, and if there is any guilt in me, let him put me to death."
33 Joab went to the king and told him. He called for Absalom, who came to the king and bowed face down to the ground before the king, and the king kissed Absalom.